I.P.A. (formerly I Like Physics) (formerly The Road)

2011: Football-aholics Anonymous

2011-08-26T12:48:00.000-05:00

Hello, our name is Crittenden County, and we're football-aholics.

Tonight's the official kick-off of Crittenden County's inaugural season as a member of Class "AA". (So, do the football-aholics and the "Hello, our name is..." things make more sense now? AA? Might not be the best thing to joke about, but I was born without that filter in the brain that's supposed to stop inappropriate comments from coming out of my mouth, or from my fingers as I type on this blog.)

Tonight: Crittenden Co. vs. Hopkins Central. Rockets (plural) vs. Storm (singular). Advantage: Rockets. (Just a numbers game. By definition, there's more of them.) (Of course, it could depend on what kind of Storm they are. If they're just a regular thunderstorm, I like our chances. A tornado or a hurricane? I still like our chances, but it makes it more interesting. Maybe they kept it vague so that they can have different storms each year, according to their team's talent level. See, Paducah Tilghman is always "Tornado", and they're good pretty much every year.)

Press Box news:

New sound system! Just installed this past week, hopefully the speakers can be mounted this afternoon. But if they're not, I think you'll find that they still sound better than the old horn speakers that we've had for the past 30+ years.

Peyton Porter has moved on! We'll miss him tremendously, but wish him well on his current endeavor: mascot for...you guessed it...the Hopkins Central Storm. So while its true that he's a Benedict Arnold, we will not hold it against him for a few reasons. 1) He's my nephew, so any ill talk of his move will be met by an evil glare from me, and quite possibly a glimpse at my rarely-seen "mean side". 2) He's actually a student at Hopkins Central, so it just makes sense that he gets involved with their program in some fashion. 3) He's my nephew, so seriously: Talk bad about him and his turncoat-personality, and I'll go all "guy-from-The Wire-that-wears-glasses-and-is-from-New-York" up in here. If you haven't seen 'The Wire', then just trust me. You don't want that.

New pre-game music playlist this year! The three of you that regularly check this blog, please let me know what you think about it! We've tweaked the song-picking philosophy a bit this year, and I'd love to hear some honest assessments. Also, some songs were added simply because they sound very good on this new PA system.

That's all for now! See you tonight at "The Pit", and if you can't be there be sure to listen to the "Zac, Wompie, and Crabtree Radio Tyme" live streaming broadcast on the WMJL 102.7 website.

Go Rockets!

7-3. Proud of the Rockets.

2010-10-30T01:05:00.001-05:00

Tough loss to Murray tonight, made even tougher by the loss of Cozart for the season. And for the first time since last October, the Rockets lose a game after hearing our pre-game music.

You'll excuse me if I'm a little down tonight. Trying to sort things out.

We'll regroup and welcome Bethlehem to Marion next Friday night, and hopefully send them home with an "L". If they need it, we'll guide their way home with a star.

Or they can crash here, because we DO have room in the Inn.

HUGE props to Erin McDonald for singing the National Anthem! It was awesome.

And HUGE props to Devin Belt for nailing the half-time State Farm extra-point attempt.

Other than that, all I can say is: myriad, dirigible, fur rat, effervescence, and mizzle.

Oh, and Bob. He played tonight.

The Pembroke Welsh Corgi

2010-10-16T10:32:00.002-05:00

Girls, Girls, Girls (ala Vince Neil, aka Motley Crue)

2010-10-15T08:29:00.000-05:00

One of the many perks of being a PA guy is that you often get asked to announce other events that take place at the stadium. This week, I was absolutely blown away by the skills on display from the five teams that participated in "Girl Iron Glory", the first of hopefully many powder puff tournaments to benefit Breast cancer awareness. I'll be honest here and put myself out there to be scorned: I had very low expectations. And when I say "low", I'm talking pembroke welsh corgi low, as in barely off the ground. (Look at a picture of a pembroke welsh corgi and you'll know what I'm talking about.)

I've never had so much fun being proved wrong. Those girls could FLAT OUT PLAY!!! Quarterbacks with cannons for arms, receivers making tremendous catches in traffic, catches being made off of tipped passes, and SPEED!!!

I'll have to admit something here that really stings my pride. I don't think the pre-game music would have affected their play in any way whatsoever. I probably could've played Bon Iver's entire catalog and those girls still would have rocked Rocket Stadium.

The event began with a defensive battle Tuesday night between the Health Quest team and Power Tuff, a game that eventually had to be completed Thursday night. And STILL the teams couldn't outsmart each other enough to take the win, so it came down to Lady Luck. The Coin Toss gave the victory to Health Quest.

The next game featured the G.R.I.T.S. team sponsored by Conrad's Food Store taking on the Farmer's Bank Brawlers. The G.R.I.T.S. were on fire. They probably could have scored against any defense with their precision passes and great catches. They took the "W", and somehow (still not sure if it was a coin toss or a point spread thing) the Brawlers were eliminated from the event and Power Tuff had the honor of trying to stop the G.R.I.T.S. potent offense.

But before that could happen, the BFFs (Breast Friends Forever....awesome team name!) had to take on Health Quest for a spot in the championship game. The HQers, coached by Dr. Johnny Newcom, prevailed in an exciting game, and the BFFs held their heads high because of the list of names on their shirts.

Then came the game of the night. G.R.I.T.S. vs. Power Tuff. I HOPE and PRAY that somebody got a film of this game, because there were some truly amazing plays made by both teams! It came down to the final possession, and Power Tuff held on to take the 14-8 victory.

It was late, it was cold, many fans decided it was time to head home, but still two teams took to the field to decide the champion of the First Annual Girl Iron Glory. Health Quest vs. Power Tuff. You've gotta give a lot of credit to the Power Tuff team; playing ONE game would take its toll on a player, even if she's in good shape, yet there they were playing back-to-back games with all the marbles on the line. I won't pretend to know what happened or lay blame or make excuses or whatever, but one could say that Power Tuff simply ran out of gas. The well-rested Health Quest squad took advantage of that and brought home the gold with a 26-0 shut-out.

I won't lie, and I won't pretend to be something I'm not: I was pulling for Health Quest. Why? For starters, my wife was on that team, so if I rooted against them my internet-time would probably be taken away. Also, my cousin Lee Anna was on that team. She married one of my best friends. The team was coached by one of my best friends. And another of my best friends, the coach's wife, was on that team. So I had a rooting interest. I can only hope that that interest didn't make itself obvious in the announcing. If so, I apologize.

EVERY team, EVERY player, EVERY coach, EVERY referee, EVERY volunteer helper....deserves tremendous kudos for the week's activities. In the booth, I was impressed by the professionalism exhibited by the teams as they brought their rosters and team music up. I was impressed by the obvious realization on display that points on the board didn't matter; some teams won and lost their games, but all thoughts were on those who are fighting the REAL battles right now against humanity's rival: Cancer. There's not many things that I can say I hate. I CAN say, without a doubt, that I HATE cancer.

So take that, Cancer. Crittenden County, with a little help from friends across the border, came together and proved to you that while you may have the upper-hand at times, we WILL NOT go down without a fight. Friday night, when the Rockets are taking on Fulton City, a list of names will be read over the loud-speaker of TRUE warriors, those who have stared down cancer and smacked it in its face, and those who fought to the bitter end and left their loved ones to carry their torch. And for those casualties of war that we've lost over the years....know this: Vengeance will be ours. Enjoy your victories now, Cancer, because one day, soon, due to events like this, you'll be history.

Every 69 seconds, somebody, somewhere, succombs to breast cancer. Think about that for a bit. In fact, think about it for 69 seconds. That's what we're up against. 20 minute halves, 10 minute half-times, 5 minutes between games, storm delays that kept one game from ending for two days...all of that time pales in comparison to those 69 seconds.

Way to go, Girls. Let's do it again next year!

Science, Football, and Coronations.

2010-10-02T09:38:00.000-05:00

On nights that the Rockets don't get to hear our pre-game music, the offense averages 26.25 points and the defense gives up 20.5 points.

On nights that the Rockets DO get to hear our pre-game music, the offense averages 47.5 points and the defense gives up 13 points.

You do the math. (Or, just read it again because I've already done the math.)

Our music almost doubles the offenses production and allows the defense to give up one fewer touchdown.

Also, on nights that our pre-game music is heard, there's a 1 in 2 chance that Jessi Hodge will be crowned Homecoming Queen. Same for Andrew Freeman. 1 in 2 chance that he'll be crowned Homecoming King.

On a serious note, congrats Rockets on a great win last night (Ballard was a tough team), and congrats to Jessi and Andrew. And congrats to Matthew Hardin for recording his second career quad-spot tackle. (That's FOUR defensive players recognized, by name, for making a tackle. That's usually just a "plethora".) And special recognition needs to be given to Corey Crider, who managed to make it through a whole game in the press box without something disastrous happening.

And for a moment that made me especially proud, Aaron Owen applied what he's learned in physics so far this year to apply a force causing acceleration, which resulted in picture-perfect projectile motion as the football sailed through the uprights.

It was a "wow" night all around.

More Science as it pertains to Rocket Football

2010-10-02T02:50:00.000-05:00

The song "Tweezer: Reprise", as performed by Phish, and played by CCHS's PA crew directly prior to kick-off, results in a 50% chance of the opening kick-off being returned for a touchdown. That's good news. I think I'll keep on doing that.

Be back later with more reasons why our playlist is the best. Main reason: Rockets are undefeated on nights when they hear our songs, but have lost a game on nights when they don't hear our songs. It doesn't take a "Rocket" scientist (pun) to deduce that our songs are the main reason why we play better.

Poll Closed

2010-10-01T12:27:00.000-05:00

Results are in....Come to "The Pit" tonight and you'll hear the Foo Fighters sing "In Your Honor". (But you'd better get there early because it's homecoming. The playlist will have to be cut short to make way for the festivities.)

Let's talk shop(a). (See? I put an "a" after the "p" in shop, so its like "P.A." I'm so Clever.)

2010-09-25T05:20:00.004-05:00

We've been cheated.

Last season, the fans, players, coaches, managers, cheerleaders, regiment, Dr. Johnny Newcom, and people that park on the hill behind the west scoreboard (as if we have an east and a west...) were robbed of a performance. Two teams that have nothing to do with Crittenden County (other than the fact that they occasionally play one another in football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, soccer, golf, chess, weight lifting, etc.) decided to stick it to us by staging a fight the week before one of those two teams had to travel to Marion to get crushed by our sound waves (and our players). Of course, Fulton County had to forfeit. No home game. (No homeCOMING game, at that.)

And this season, the Bowl game takes another home performance off the books. We only get to entertain you four times in the regular season. And hopefully a time or two in the play-offs....

And the worst part of it all? Crittenden County has to travel to Fulton County to beat them in football this year.

I say Fulton Co. owes us a home game. A homeCOMING game, at that. (Poor KCD. Never dreamed I'd see a homecoming in the first round of the play-offs. But that's not as bad as having your senior night AT South Hopkins...but that's another tale for another blog....)

So, Fulton County Athletic Director, I know you read this blog regularly, and yes, I'm calling you out by NAME. (Your name is Fulton County Athletic Director, right?) Be a man. (Or Woman. I really don't know.) Make the call. Tell your team that because of their actions, they don't get to have that home game this year. Bring 'em to Marion.

That way, everyone here would have another chance to hear our music, words of the night, and Dr. Johnny Newcom sightings. And our players wouldn't have to suffer that bus ride. (That's just a secondary concern. Music, words, Johnny. That's what matters.)

(And I trust that all those who stumble upon here know me, and know that most of what i type is nonsense and entirely tongue in cheek, which really doesn't make sense if you think about it...tongue in cheek?...oh well...and now I've had to go and do this, which really takes the humor out of it if you ask me. Everything before the first word in this paragraph should stand alone. It'd be funnier. Am I right?)

(But the non-tongue in cheek part of this post is having Fulton Co. come to Marion. I really think they should. Actions have consequences, and even though they've already suffered the consequences, I say they suffer some more. Who's with me?)

PA Legends

2010-09-23T19:30:00.005-05:00

As a public address announcer, I'm constantly striving to perfect the craft and enter the ranks of the greats. That's not possible without the help of a great team, though. Matthew Hardin -- Spotter. Holds the record for most tackles spotted on one play. Yep, he nailed a quad last season. Peyton Porter -- Press Box Attendant. Without the steady stream of diet cokes and Schrutisms, we'd be nowhere. Corey Crider, Johnny Newcom (Doctor), and Blair Winders -- music consultants. Nothing screams "great music" like a 61-8 beating of the opponent after hearing the gems we picked out.

Hopefully one day, my picture will grace this page. In the meantime,

take a gander at this list of unknown people who I'm sure are great PA announcers, yet like offensive linemen...we do our work in the shadows without any need for recognition. (But really...it'd be nice to be recognized. At least once. But it'd be nice for that recognition to have to do about something other than song lyrics.)

Scientific Analysis of the 2010 Rocket Football Season

2010-09-17T21:37:00.000-05:00

All good experiments start with a question, or a hypothesis. So...I hypothesize that the Rockets play better when they hear our pre-game music at home.

Data gathering: Rockets are 3-0 in games in which they do not hear our pre-game music. Rockets are 1-0 in games in which they DO hear our pre-game music. Results may seem to favor the "do not hear", but its a small sample size so I'm rendering it null.

The average point total for the Rockets in games in which they do not hear our pre-game music is 32.67. Also, on nights that they don't hear our pre-game music, they allow an average of 12.67 points.

In games in which they DO hear our pregame music, the Rockets score an average of 61 points. The defense allows an average of 8 points.

Conclusion: Our pre-game music selection enables the Rocket offense to nearly double its effectiveness, and the defense plays 34% better.

One of two things need to happen. The Rockets need to play all of their games at home, or they need to find a way to take our show on the road.

There. That's science.

Okay, I Just Now Remembered....

2010-09-17T17:25:00.000-05:00

....I have a blog.

Actually, a student in one of my classes reminded me that I have a blog.

Question: What good is a "blog" if the author of said blog doesn't even know it exists?

(Answer: 3.7 km/h)

Oh, I'm a physics teacher now. And I have another child; a boy, whom we call Jack. (He's nimble and quick, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if, one day, he jumped over a candlestick.) (Though he might also fall down and break his crown. Luckily, Jill will come tumbling after. He hasn't met a "Jill" yet, but I've a feeling he will...)

I think I might make this into a "class" blog. Don't think for a second that I'm not enough of a geek to do it.

Sincerely,

The Voice of the Rockets (and co-song collaborator...I blame the other guy for any inappropriateness.)

Just for Burburrrr....

2008-08-06T18:14:00.000-05:00

Ghost of Pavarotti holding The Crittenden Press above Lace Market's head.

And in Black and White...

Where in the World is The Crittenden Press????

2008-08-06T08:26:00.000-05:00

Question to the Cool. See poll on the right side of the screen, and vote for who needs to "hold" the Press for the final published version. The picture will be in black & white, so I've made these b&w so we'll know more about how they'll look. Plus, it better hides some of the creative editing.

Here are two choices. If you'd like another, just let me know, and I'll get little on it.

Edited to add: I voted for Kullen, primarily because it just looks more natural. Plus, like Lace Market said in the e-mail, (in his words),..."I'm sure he will be EXTRA PLEASED that he gets to hold the Press with TINY TIM HANDS and SMILES ABOUNDING...WEAKKKKK!!!!!!"

"Chicago 2008: CTA's Lament"

2008-08-05T13:19:00.000-05:00

Still here. Thanks.

Tuxedo vs. Opera Suit --- Round One

2008-05-07T19:09:00.000-05:00

Tuxedo:

Opera Suit:

Let the voting begin! I don't want to sway the reader(s) any, but I'm voting for the opera suit. (Please use the comments section. That way, it'll be easier for me to count the up-to three votes we could potentially have on this contest.)

Top 20 Books

2008-04-29T07:15:00.000-05:00

Got this idea from Becky's Book Reviews Blog

The rules: Top twenty favourite books in no particular order. Don’t think about it for too long. Take twenty minutes only to compile your list. Bold the ones you’ve read, or reread, since you’ve started blogging. Include novels, non fiction and plays. (No operas!) (I made that last one up. ) (The one about operas. Just a little dig at my friend Corey Crider, Baritone.)

Life of Pi, Yann Martel
The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini
A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini
The Time Traveler's Wife, Audrey Niffenegger
Blue Heaven, C. J. Box
Echo Park, Michael Connelly
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon
Obedience, Will Lavender
Promise Me, Harlan Coben
Nineteen Minutes, Jodi Picoult
Oblivion, Peter Abrahams
Empire Falls, Richard Russo
Straight Man, Richard Russo
Angels and Demons, Dan Brown
The Devil of Nanking, Mo Hayder
Raise the Titanic, Clive Cussler
Change of Heart, Jodi Picoult
The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint, Brady Udall
A Place of Execution, Val McDermid
Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, J.K. Rowling

Question: How many people own a signed copy of a book on their all-time Top-20 list?
Answer: I have no way of knowing. But there's at least one. Me. (Will Lavender's Obedience.)

Have a great day. (That means you, Josh Harrelson. Sign with Kentucky. You'll have many, many great days once you do. Thanks.)

Unconscious Mutterings

2008-04-29T06:09:00.000-05:00

Word association from another blog. I think I might have won...

Thug :: 6th grade

Slurp :: Ice cream

Alley :: Jason Parker

Sweater vest :: Prep school

Targeted :: recruit

Snazzy :: cat

Oy! :: Corey Crider!

Jury duty :: vacation day

Low fat :: yuck

Responsibility :: Corruptibility

http://subliminal.lunanina.com

Check it out and give it a shot.

No Time for Goodbye

2008-04-28T11:58:00.000-05:00

Just finished this one this weekend. What a ride! Nothing earth-shattering here. Guy isn't gunning for any Pulitzers or anything of that sort. But if you're in the mood for a fun, fast, entertaining thrill-fest, I recommend this one.

I wish I could make the picture smaller, because I've said all I want to say about this book, but the post will look funny unless I can eventually get this text to "wrap" around the image.

Too bad Roderick Flemings decided to go to Hawaii. Kentucky could have used his scoring. With Bradley and Crawford both being lost to graduation, points may be hard to come by next season. Having a healthy Meeks and Patterson will be a great start, but teams that win championships often have five scoring threats on the floor at a time.

Made it!

But you don't want to stop just below the image, either. That'd be too obvious. So let's see....Paducah! Now there's a town that's just craving some publicity. The quilt show has been in town; could this be the last one ever? Who knows....tune in at a later time, more than likely on a completely different blog, written by a person who actually cares, to find out.

Nah, I'm not fake. Have a great day.

I've been Cobeninating (???)

2008-04-21T20:00:00.000-05:00

Cobeninating? Another word that just didn't come across in type quite the way it did in the mind. Oh well.

Sorry for the lack of posts, all three of you that check this blog regularly. I've been busy with Carly's first birthday (awesome!) and reading several more Harlan Coben books.

Check this out. We got a "professional" cake-maker (is that what you call them?) to make a cake for Carly. This is what we got:

I wasn't too impressed, myself. Mind you, I've only made one cake (one!!!) ever before. I decided that I could do better. I don't want to boast too much, so I'll let you be the judge.

I came up with the design myself, too. (That's the "Cubs" logo, but with "-arly" inside the "C" instead of "-ubs". Clever, I know. )

The Harlan Cobenination of America

2008-04-13T18:36:00.000-05:00

Silly title, but I just had to see what "Cobenination" looked like in type. Eh. Not as good as I had pictured while sitting in church this morning. [And no, I don't always think about books in church, just this one ti....er, maybe two or three times...today, but really, no more than two or three (or four) times a day, I promise.)]

Tell No One was the first Coben I read, and I loved it. It's exactly what I'm looking for in a good book at certain times: Fast read, interesting characters, an early hook, revelations throughout the book rather than the build-up to one final revelation at the end, etc. Went on to read Just One Look, No Second Chance, and Gone for Good in the next week or so.

The only fault....only fault....I had with those books was, after reading those four in a row...I could barely remember which characters were in which stories, and which situations they were thrown into. They all ran together. Those books were very formulaic, but I must say that the formula is good enough that I'd keep coming back for more. It works. It's safe. I buy a Coben, I know what I'm getting.

Until I bought Drop Shot, which I thought was the first in the Myron Bolitar series. This book was NOTHING like the others I had read. I couldn't believe it was the same author. Bolitar and his buddy, Win, did not come across as very likable characters upon first impression. Plus, Bolitar is a Dookie, and we all now how us Kentucky fans feel about Duke. (Not to mention that I figured out the major reveal in the first third of the book.) I pretty much gave up on the Bolitar series at that point.

Enter Promise Me, a book that I had not purchased because it was the "big return" of Bolitar and gang. Shame on me. Let me say that again with emphasis. Shame on Me!!!!

Finished it today, and the problem I'm having is where I'm going to squeeze it into in my Top-5 all-time list. WHAT....A....BOOK. Bolitar has matured over the years, but still has the smart-arse sarcasm that kept me in stitches when he was encountering trouble. Win, love him or hate him, is a guy that you HAVE to have on your side if you want to make it in the world Bolitar finds himself in time and time again. And being a parent, the story....wow, the story...really hit the spot. Many twists in this one, and I certainly DID NOT see the finale turning out the way it did. I had about five ideas, and not a one of them was even close. Kudos, Mr. Coben. All 6'4" of you. (Yeah, he's a tall author.)

Can't wait for Hold Tight to arrive this week.

Crittenden County Cool Club Constitution of Cool (Or...CCCCCC)

2008-04-11T18:06:00.001-05:00

It's time to talk about the CCCCCC. It is this blogger's opinion that this conversation will best take place if we concern ourselves with just one Article of the CCCCCC at a time. (ala Mr. Thurman's Social Studies class....I'm sure.) So, for your reading pleasure...the first Article of the CCCCCC.

ARTICLE I:

THE ANNUAL MEETING

This meeting shall occur annually, and shall consist of the reading of the minutes, the song, and any challenges to office holders. Historical events will be discussed, and will be highlighted by Crider's telling of the "Lawson Belt Story". New members will be introduced. Prospective members will be discussed. The tally of the previous year's "Cool Points" will be read by Blair Effin Winders. The winner (also Blair) will be announced. Last place (Crider) will not receive a certificate. All-Time substitute Last place (L. Conrad) will receive Honorable Mention Last Place, and will also not receive a certificate. The AWSL will give its yearly awards. Blair will preside. Any trials that need to be held will take place. (Fairly, I might add.) ("I" being the Constitution of Cool.) (Yes, "I" have a personality.)

----------------------------------------------------------

So there it is. Pretty straight forward. Nothing too "out there" in this one. If you are curious, the AWSL is the "American Wedding-as-a-Sport League". (And for the record, we've been having "wedding winners" long before ESPN had the idea for that commercial.)

Obedience

2008-04-10T08:46:00.000-05:00

Okay. As this blog is in its infancy, I've been going through the "archives", if you will, and posting things from e-mails past. Eventually, the rate of posting will slow down a bit and you will all have time to let the messages from these posts really, really sink in. But for now, bam bam bam bam, here comes another. This is a review I shared with my friends about another good book, this one written by an acquaintance of mine: Will Lavender, from Louisville, KY, whom along with his wife, Adria and I have gotten to know through a mutual love of all-things-Kentucky basketball. Enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which you begin to question not only your surroundings, your senses, or your actions, but the actual reality of the situation itself? Perhaps you've had a dream that seemed so real that, while still in the dream, you convinced yourself that it wasn't a dream in the same manner in which you'd convince yourself of that reality while actually not dreaming, whether it be through pinching yourself, slapping yourself, or looking around for anything that doesn't belong….

If any of the above sounds familiar, you know how Mary Butler feels when she gets caught up in, and taken over by, the assignment (the only assignment) in Logic & Reasoning 204, taught by the mysterious Professor Williams at mid-western Winchester College. (None of the students taking the class had actually ever seen Professor Williams; pictures of him in old annuals were always of just a hand or an arm, though the caption indicates his presence. Had he just always been at the wrong place at the wrong time for these photos, or had he, as I like to imagine, always been successful at staying just far enough away, so as to never get "caught" by the camera?)

The assignment seems simple. Find Polly. Or else….she dies.

It's important to note here that "Polly", and the eventual "murder" of said Polly, is only a "hypothetical". Right? Because a teacher couldn't actually get away with kidnapping and/or murdering a young girl just so a few students could get a few hours of college credit. Right?

That is what Mary thought until strange things began happening. E-mailed clues, meant to provide hints to the students as to the TIME, PLACE, MOTIVE, and CIRCUMSTANCE, begin to hit a little too close to home for Mary. The line between reality and hypothetical-kidnap-in-college-class is suddenly blurred, and Mary finds herself in the middle of a chase for much more than just those college credits alluded to earlier.

Can she trust her Professor? Can she trust her classmates, Dennis and Brian, who are also experiencing the blurring of that reality line? Can she trust her best friend, Summer, who, much to Mary's surprise, appears in one of Professor Williams' photo clues? Can she trust the Professor's wife, who, as Mary is leaving a party hosted at his house, hands Mary a note saying "None of this is real. I AM NOT HIS WIFE".

Can you trust...me? (mwuhahahaha…) (<-- maniacal laughter, in case you were wondering.) Of course you can trust me. I'm Jody. The Road. You know me; have for years, many of you. But it is just that kind of "knowledge"...that which you tell yourself over and over that you know is real..that Lavender sets up just to bowl over in this EXTRAORDINARY tale about how far we (as humans) will go to help those in need. Read it. You will NOT be disappointed. http://www.amazon.com/Obedience-Novel-Will-Lavender/dp/030739610X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204393611&sr=8-1

The Devil of Nanking -- Finished.

2008-04-10T06:29:00.000-05:00

Finished the book last night. And I must say, the end did not pack the punch that was being set up through the entire novel. I was ready from something far, far worse, and while it wasn't exactly a "pleasant" ending...I felt a bit let down.

Still, the words I used yesterday apply.

Intense. The author's prose builds up the events and puts the reader right in the middle of them. You feel what the characters feel, much to your chagrin at times. I'd rather read books like this. I don't want to be cuddled by my authors. If the character is in a nasty situation, then by all means write the scene as nasty as you can. Hayder does this, and does it well in this offering.

Gruesome. I don't want to go too in depth here in case you decide to read this one. I've read some books that could be described as gruesome, but nothing....nothing .... comes close to this one. I literally felt a queasiness in my stomach during several scenes.

Suspenseful. The plot jumps back and forth from present day (well, actually, "present day" in this book is 1990, but for the narrator it is "present day") and 1937. In the present, the "hero" is on a journey to discover if a film exists that would prove her correct. She read something in a book at a very young age, something that is not revealed to the reader until late in the novel, and everybody she talks to says that she imagined it. She is hospitalized. Told she is "crazy". She hears that a film exists that might prove her correct. Her search for the film leads her to Tokyo. The past, 1937, is set in war-torn Nanking, about the time the Japanese army overruns the town and commits, perhaps, the worst war crime in the history of the world. (Seriously. Look it up on wikipedia. Terrible.) As the author jumps back and forth in time, you can sense the build-up that will link the three main characters in ways that they never imagined being linked.

Revolting. Again, without giving away too much detail from the book I can't say much about this. But know this: It takes a lot to "shock" me. I was shocked by what I read in parts of this book. I chose the word "revolting" because "disgusting" just wasn't strong enough.

So read this book if you enjoy intense, gruesome, suspenseful, revolting reads. But like I said yesterday: I can not be held responsible. Read at your own risk.

The Devil of Nanking

2008-04-09T07:01:00.000-05:00

Intense. Gruesome. Suspenseful. Revolting.

I can't recommend this book. If somebody wants to read it, I'd encourage them to but with a caveat: Don't blame me when you throw it across the room and run for the shower because you're in need of some serious cleansing.

I'll come back later and post a review. I should finish this book tonight, but I'll probably be away for a while having my soul scrubbed.

I've read things the past few nights that no human being should ever have to read. And... I've loved it.

http://www.amazon.com/Devil-Nanking-Novel-Mo-Hayder/dp/0802117945/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207744012&sr=8-2

The Jersey Reminder

2008-04-08T06:01:00.001-05:00

Part 1: French Toast Interlude

Darkness...

They say it's the darkest right before dawn, but I've got front row seats to the event that will put that theory to rest once and for all. It doesn't matter that the event in question doesn't begin for another eight years. It doesn't even matter that the event will not even take place. You see, I made the whole thing up. There is no event that will prove that theory wrong, but you're missing the point. Darkness is the point.

I've been told that its the darkest right before dawn, and I challenge anybody to prove that theory wrong. I'll give you a hint --- you can't. Not now, not tomorrow, but especially not in eight years. Because in eight years, an event will take place that will prove, once and for all, that it is indeed the darkest right before dawn. And I've got front row seats. They didn't come cheap. I had to pay a lot of money for those tickets. It doesn't matter how much money. It doesn't even matter that I don't actually have the tickets. Because the event isn't real. There is no 'event' that could prove a theory like that. But you're missing the point.

It doesn't matter that you're missing the point. It doesn't even matter that there is NOT a point. That's the whole point. Eight years from now there will be an event that some will term pointless. Others will say that the event is the whole point. It doesn't matter who these people are. It doesn't even matter that these people don't even exist. I made them up.

Eight years from now is a long time. Not as long as ten years from now, mind you, but a long time nonetheless. But it doesn't matter how long from now eight years is. It doesn't even matter that the number "8" is a made-up number. What does matter is French Toast on Sunday mornings.

It was while eating a slice of french toast that Jersey Macintosh received a phone call that would change his life forever. He was but an ordinary man, hell bent on chasing one more tall locust out of this big tree of life, when worlds collided. (His world, and the world of the person who called.) But it doesn't matter who called. Because Jersey Macintosh doesn't even have a phone. I made that whole thing up.

Hanging up his imaginary phone, Jersey Macintosh pondered the words he had heard. Or, rather, the words he thought he heard. Because he has make-believe ears.

So I leave you with this. Based on what you've read thus far.....Is Jersey Macintosh real? Or is he a figment of.....wait for it....your imagination?

In other words, are you real?

Or did I make you up?

That, my friends, is the point of life.

The End

Seven Things You Might Not Have Known About the Opera "Samson et Dalila"

2008-04-07T16:37:00.000-05:00

1) "Samson et Dalila" is French for "Samson and Dalila". "And" is an American conjunction meaning "in addition to", and can also be translated to Italian..."ed" or "e".

2) "Samson et Dalila", contrary to popular belief, is NOT about Ralph Sampson's career as a Virginia Cavalier, despite the fact that he was 7'4" and three-time college player of the year.

3) The album "Samson et Dalila" was released to rave reviews in the late-19th century, and co-authors Saint-Saens and Franz Liszt barnstormed Europe and North Africa as audiences went wild.

4) Most people know that Michael Jordan is probably the best basketball player ever, but not many realize that Franz Ferenczy, the actor/singer who first portrayed "Samson", is no relation at all to the great NBA star.

5) Placido Domingo leads Opera in career assists and falsettos, but is probably best known (as hard as it may be to believe) for his reign as "Samson" in 1981. Shirley Temple was Dalila. (True story.)

6) Historically speaking, "Samson et Dalila" tells the story of Samson and Dalila (see #1) as first told in the Book of Judges, Chapter 16, in the literary classic, Old Testament by God. Link

7) "Samson et Dalila" finished the 1877 season, it's rookie year, ranked #4 in the European AP, and #5 in the Conductor's Poll. The undisputed #1 ranked opera was "The Cunning Peasant", the surprise Czech hit by Antonin Dvorak.

Why "The Road"?

2008-04-07T10:10:00.000-05:00

Nobody has ever asked me why I chose to call this blog "The Road". But I bet they've wondered. (And by "they", I am of course referring to the countless people who have yet to view this blog. And the many, many others who, much like myself, will one day stumble upon this blog completely by accident.)

My name is Jody. There is a history to that name, but that's for another blog at another time. (This blog is reserved for much more serious issues.)

My friends often get tired of saying my name. So, to keep it "fresh", they occasionally switch the first letter out with another letter. (Ex. "Pody". Or "Mody". Or "Wody". )

As you can imagine, one day Burbur (cool slang for "Blair") decided that "R" would fit in nicely in front of the "-ody", and "Rody" was born.

Believe it or not, but it didn't take long for one of us (probably Burbur again) to realize that "Rody" sounded remarkably close to "Road".

Then, one of us (probably me) decided that if we put "The" before it, it would sound much more "cutting edge" and, let's face it, cool. So I am now The Road.

There's been a book about me (Cormac McCarthy). There's been a book on me (Jack Kerouac). And, best of all, there's been a song describing me (Tenacious D).

The Road likes many things: His family, his church (Marion United Methodist), the Kentucky Wildcats, the Chicago Cubs, books. This blog may occasionally touch on some of those things. But most of all, it'll be a place where I'll come to write some pretty ridiculous and absurd stuff. (Like my poem entitled "Billy Gillispie" which I'll post later. )

(How's that for a cliff-hanger? Now you'll have to come back...)

The End